I need some advice please. I have been going out with my boyfriend for a year and a half. I recently found out something about him that i just can’t seem to get over. Since finding this out, i’ve spoken to him and addressed my concerns however have been told i’m “being dramatic” and it’s “his life” (although this affects me without going into too much detail). He’s a selfish individual which i’ve always put down to his family dynamic but i’m not becoming very drained with him always putting himself first and making empty promises. He gets on with my family great and I love everything he does for me but i genuinely don’t know what to do. Help please!

I don’t advise dating selfish people. Relationships are about consistent acts of selfless love, of course you need to be selfish and put yourself first when you need to. But if you had to describe your partner as a selfish person then I would probably reconsider. You’ll be fighting this battle forever since this is who he is a fundamentally.

As you said yourself he’s a selfish individual. That’s who he is and he’s not going to change. It’s definitely time to think about if that’s the kind of person you want to have in your life. I’ve been in a similar situation where I was aware of that but until I saw certain things, I didn’t truly realise how ugly of a personality trait selfishness is. This is definitely something you should not just let go and ignore, sounds like it’s already taking a toll on you. Relationships shouldn’t drain you.

He doesn't sound like someone you could have a long-term relationship with. When your partner is affected by something you should never dismiss it and call them dramatic. Truly healthy relationships are ones where you can be seen and heard, even if your partner doesn't agree

@falafels_ I agree it’s a losing battle.

@bluerose9 Thank you! every time i mention it to someone the reply is “men are all selfish” but it just feels like an excuse!

@aurielle Thank you for this

@xoscxo well then time for you to be selfish and stop tolerating this man never putting you first.