My boyfriend works a lot and understand it and try to be flexible. At this point I haven’t seen him in almost three weeks (which I know isn’t a lot to most). But his responses are usually feel like “sorry 🤷‍♂️" and not caring that he hasn’t seen me in a while. Sometimes a girl needs an I miss you or show that you miss them or that you want to see them but can’t. Sometimes those words matter instead of like sorry gotta work this weekend. Am I wrong?

Have you told him this?

I just did @yI_eune and he said he understands. Was it right of me to tell him?

@Emotal why do you question yourself so much? It’s normal to express your feelings to your partner if you want them to understand the situation. I feel like you overthink and assume too much and communicate too little. It’s a really bad trait that keeps coming back with your relationships, please bring it up with a counsellor.

I don’t wanna be that girl but when my (ex) boyfriend was like this with me he had been cheating on me for at least 2 months

After like a few months of dating it kind of decreased in frequency of like cute things he tells me

@Emotal not entirely true, relationships take effort, and you’ll need to continue putting that effort in. If he doesn’t feel like doing that then it might be best to move on so you aren’t left insecure and disappointed.

Im very a much a “if they wanted to they would” kind of person. And I know some people have different lifestyles, communication style, needs, different ways of showing their care or affection. But personally, based off your post history, it seems like you need a partner who is more involved in the relationship. Some people don’t need as much time together and thats okay, but if that doesn’t sit well with you then you might not be a good fit. I am a “needy” girlfriend with a “needy” boyfriend and thank my lucky stars every day that I am with someone who I rarely have to question because we are very communicative and prioritize our relationship almost always. Sure there are bumps in the road, but you do need to find someone who is suited for you.

I'm very much NOT an "if they wanted to, they would" believer because I don't think that our partners can read our minds and automatically know what we want, we need to communicate our needs clearly. This statement places a lottt of assumptions onto the other person without seeking understanding and communication from them. We actually have to teach our partners how to love us and how to be in a relationship with us, it isn't automatic. If a "good" relationship is just seeking someone who perfectly matches all of our needs and wants without trying well... if that's even possible, I think you'll miss out on a lot of valuable connections. @Emotal communicating what you need from your partner is exactly the right thing to do. A good partner will take that into consideration and make an effort to do more of those things that make you feel loved and wanted.

@aurielle I think I should clarify that a relationship is never going to work out if you don’t communicate what you want from partner. Thats not how I interpret “if they wanted to they would”. If im telling my partner what I need, and hes not giving me that… then he simply doesn’t want to. Thats why i think if they wanted to, they would. If OP is telling her boyfriend she needs reassurance from her bf and he doesn’t give that to her, then he just doesn’t care enough to want to make his partner happy. Of course your partner can’t read your mind, a relationship with unrealistic expectations is doomed to fail.