Opinions on your partner smoking? So I’m in a LDR and for 2 years I had believed my boyfriend would only smoke once every blue moon. I found out recently that every week he sees his friend (who is a heavy cigarettes and weed smoker) he smokes around 3-4 cigarets. I was quite shocked bc I do not do it myself and I never wanted to date a smoker. He said his friend (who let’s just say it’s not the best one in my opinion) never pushes him to, but he does it bc he’s there with him and at least he doesn’t do it as much as when he was younger. Important to say that we are talking about moving in together, there is a cultural difference and I would be the one to leave everything to go to him. So OFC I want to have this talk and make sure there won’t be issues in the future. He litt just said that in sounding a bit controlling bc I ask him how much he smokes when he sees his friend and that he’s not a smoker (as if every non smoking person smokes more than 12 cigarettes a month) and that I’m making it a big deal. I DO NOT CARE if he smokes ones in a while when we live together. But every week once or twice??? Idk I’m feeling like we’re too different and it’s becoming a bit scary to move in with someone who has such a different lifestyle than me…

I mean is it a dealbreaker for you? Cause it sounds like it is.

I don't think you're being controlling, I think it's reasonable to want to know about your partner's smoking habits before moving countries to live with them. I think it's fair to set a boundary that if he is going to smoke that much you don't feel comfortable changing up your whole life to commit to this relationship.

I wouldn’t date a smoker myself and if my partner became a smoke id break up with him. If it’s a dealbreaker then it’s a dealbreaker.

He claims he isn’t a smoker, but continues to smoke.. so he clearly is? Doesn’t matter if he smokes 2, 12 or whatever.. if you smoke on a semi-regular basis you’re still a smoker. 😅 Don’t ignore your instincts. If you question moving countries then it’s probably not a good idea.

I personally don’t care. My boyfriend is a smoker but keeps it outside away from me, or uses a vape. But if it’s a deal breaker for you then just end it.

Dealbreaker for me. First bf was a smoker and I told him it was gross so he picked up vaping. Hearing the “woooooshhhh” 24/7 was so grating cause it allowed him to vape at any time in the car, at home, on a walk. I hate the smell of cigarettes and vapes, it’s an unhealthy habit and I try my best to live a healthy lifestyle so smoking doesn’t fit with what i would find attractive.

@Yi_eune my thoughts exactly… ig it’s also like a big “normal” thing everyone does in his country. But in mine we have more laws about that and protect more the people who does not choose to smoke. But yeah, it still a dumb response