Hello! I just wanted your opinion bc sometimes I take things the wrong way but I’ve talked to my boyfriend about spending new years together and he wanted to see what his mom wanted to do so last night he texted me saying: we’re doing something here for new years (his house) if you want to join and invite any friends. I got bothered about the “if” lol

What’s wrong with it?

If you want to join! You could possibly want to spend it with your family instead, he’s respecting your ability to choose if you want to go

I guess I found it weird bc we had planned to celebrate together anyways so when he said if I guess I took it in the wrong way.

he’s probably saying that he knows you wanted to spend it together by yourselves or elsewhere, but his mum would like to do something so you can join them if you’d like? that’s how i would have taken it anyways

To me it just means he’s leaving it up to you if you want to come alone or with friends, don’t read too much into it.

You are reading a bit too much into the "if" but it sounds like what you want to hear is reassurance that he WANTS you to come and wants to spend time with you. If that's what you are looking for, communicate to him how meaningful it is for you to spend holidays with him and that you love when he includes you in plans and affirms that he wants you to be there. Just out of curiosity how long have you guys been dating?

Yes I did actually say that today that I think I just wanted to feel wanted. He said that he’s a person that will never get mad if I don’t go somewhere but that he does want me there. We are going on 5 months. Now that I’m here talking. We haven’t said I love you yet and I wonder if he feels those feelings. I asked once and he said his feelings were growing but not yet there.

@Candy1212 I think he’s trying to be considerate by giving you the option to join in case you had already made other plans. I fully understand that you want to be wanted but he did consider asking you to join so I feel like you’re being a bit harsh.

I think you’re reading into his words when he seems to mean exactly what he’s said and nothing more. I don’t think it’s concerning that he hasn’t said he loves you yet, if everything else in the relationship is going well. I personally would rather someone waited to say it until they actually meant it, not just said it because they felt they should.

@Candy1212 I think you will stop second-guessing this type of thing once you've been in the relationship longer and feel more secure in it.

Yeah I need to relax and let the relationship flow. Sometimes I feel intense and I have been trying to stay calm and let things happen.

I’ve just been hurt so I kind of self sabotage myself when something Is ok

@Candy1212 therapy can help with that xx

@aurielle

@Candy1212 I think following someone who has an onlyfans is different from using onlyfans.

I sort of brought it up and he said he doesn’t have one