Using this app as an outlet to say Whats really on my mind. The real, the ugly and everything in between. I have no one to share things with without being a burden. Anywaysssss been on the pill for about 8 months. Had my daughter 1 year ago now. Not sure if the pill or being a new mom is making me feel so overwhelmed, mood swings, anxiety, etc. I’m a stay at home mom. Bf and I share the car. I’m in the house every single day, moms don’t clock out. Everyday is the same. I try my best to be happy where I am in life for the sake of my kids and bf. He works so hard for us. I just wish I could be stronger emotionally, mentally and physically. Tonight’s an emotional night. Anyone else felt these feelings?

What you're feeling sounds completely normal and valid. Can your boyfriend take over parenting duties on some evenings so you can go out and have some time to yourself? I would also go absolutely stir crazy if I was stuck at home with my kid 24/7

Thank you for the validation. Sometimes I feel dramatic and tell myself to stop being overly sensitive, but I guess I’m hard on myself. That’s just the thing, I feel like when he gets home from his 10+ hour work day in 112 degree weather, I can’t leave our kids with him cuz he needs to rest too. I work on the weekends, indoors, and I even I don’t like to come home after and have the kids be immediately put on me either, I’d want to relax, take a shower, eat something before I turn on full mommy mode and I feel like he’s the same. I feel guilty for going out. When I do, I catch myself keeping track of how long it’s been. I always overthink. I know he doesn’t care about that stuff when I do go out but when he’s working later, or has a couple errands after work, I’m watching the clock on him because I want to be relieved from the kids. Idk do I sound selfish? I feel like I get the short end of the stick always. Just day to day I feel cloudy minded, sometimes confused, angry and compare myself to other moms/ women my age. (I’m 26) Most of the women I know don’t have kids at my age so they have a lot of freedom. I love my kids so much but when will it be time to put ME first. Buy myself something, keep up a friendship with someone, do a hobby I used to love painting. Idk I dont ask for anything I just wanna be seen for what I do

@Starfire_00 well how is it fair for him to get a break after work but you work around the clock taking care of the baby? Parenting is a job too and it should be treated as such. Nothing you said sounds selfish, you are allowed to have a life and maintain some of your individuality as a mom. In fact I would say it's essential to still have some friendships and hobbies. Your bf should step up there. And do you have any family or friends who could help out or the ability to hire a babysitter?

You’re right, I need regular breaks and I don’t get them very often. Our family that lives near us all work Monday-Friday. That’s why I became a SAHM bc we don’t have childcare. I don’t bring in much financially, basically we’re on his 1 income. We don’t trust anyonnne with our kids and I get anxiety about leaving them with someone I don’t know while they’re unable to fully talk (toddler and 1 y/o baby) I’ve been looking forward to when they go into school cuz that’s when I’ll be able to work more and have a life of my own. It’s just hard right now bc they’re so little. Maybe it’s not my birth control making me feel so down lately. I tried to blame it on the pill but now I see my feelings are valid. Thank you for taking the time to actually respond 🥹 We decided to stop at two kids, I want to get back to feeling like ME. I was pregnant for two years back to back. I feel like I’m loosing myself in motherhood.

Your feelings are totally valid and common. It's okay to need breaks :( take care, best wishes to you and your babies.