Okay this is gonna be a long one… hear me out. So I was in a relationship for about four years. I thought I was gonna marry him. I thought he was the love of my life. We have a dog together. But we would always argue about the stupidest things call each other names it was very toxic. It’s almost been a month since we’ve broken up, but obviously we can’t go no contact. We are coparenting a dog silly I know, but I can’t give her up I don’t know. It’s delusional of me to think that maybe we would get back together one day I know why would I want that for myself, I got invited to go to Disneyland with my girl friends this upcoming weekend, but I’ve been hesitant for some reason probably because the last time I went to Disneyland was with him. I don’t know if I’m nervous for him to find out or if I’m just nervous to go and make new memories without him, or just to be far away from him and my dog. The only thing that’s holding me back from going is the thoughts of him I guess I just came on here to ask you guys. What would you do? Would you go on the girls trip? I’m holding out hope of a lost relationship and I know that I just wanna get over this sense of debating if I should go or not, he held me back from hanging out with my friends for a long time and I know you only live once, but I really am on the fence. I guess I’m just waiting for a call from him wanting to try again That is probably never gonna end up happening. (I voice typed this sorry if theres errors)

Like why am i holding onto something that was so bad for me??? Why would i want that for myself???? I cant help it. I get sick to my stomach when i think that we will never be together again. He was my whole life prettt much for four years. How do i get over that

Go on the trip. Don’t put your life on hold for anyone. The dog, at the end of the day, is a dog. My ex and I shared a dog too but at the end of the day the dog was mine and I had to cut off contact and the back and forth because it wasn’t good for me. It’s only been a month. Give yourself time to really experience being single. It’s the perfect time to recollect and come back to yourself. Your wellbeing should be your priority now.

i say u should go on the girls trip and relax a bit 😊 u guys will get back together again if its really meant to be so try not to worry as much try not to only focus on that, i understand it might be hard tho

Yes you should definitely go on the girls trip. I wouldn’t focus on him right now or the situation. If you guys get back together it will happen when it’s the right time I know it’s hard but it’s time to focus on ur wellbeing and what you want to do. If you think about it you guys broke up for a good reason, no one wants to be stuck in a toxic relationship and the fact he held you back from seeing your friends is 🚩. Go make some memories with ur friends! If he finds out thats none of his business anyways.

Go on the trip. 100% go on the trip. Create new memories and reclaim those places you have memories with him. To be blunt if your ex stopped you from seeing your friends in the past then honestly you’ve probably let them down before, time to start being a better friend again and put them first, go spend time with them. He held you back in life for long enough, if you continue to let him hold you back, it’s no longer him holding you back - you are now holding yourself back from living your own life, you are now choosing to hold yourself back. You would be doing yourself a major disservice to do that. You need to put yourself first for the first time in 4 years and yes it’s really hard but you are fully capable. I don’t think you will regret going on this trip but if you don’t go, I think you will regret it, regret letting his opinion dictate your life so much. You need to find yourself and your independence again. You are a full whole person without him, you don’t need him.

I think you're afraid of experiencing life without him, because it's been a long time and that's familiar to you. But unfamiliar happiness even if slightly scary at first will always be better than familiar misery.

I agree with the others that you need to go on that trip. Another thing I want to ask, who is the owner of the dog? As only one official owner should be assigned. I think it’s very unhealthy for you to keep getting dragged back to the past because of it. You’ll never heal like that, or extremely slowly.