how soon is too soon to forgive someone? my boyfriend recently made new friends (that i’ve met once and had already not liked me before meeting me) and he became a completely different person around them. to the point where i don’t even recognize him anymore. on our anniversary he wanted to go to dinner with them and no one talked to me all night. and then i had to walk back alone while my phone was dead. we talked about it and he realized how he changed and how it wasn’t for the better and is thinking of getting help. i’m conflicted because even though this hurt me i don’t want to break up with him. i’ve been isolating myself and haven’t seen him for few days.

I think it depends on whether this is a pattern of behavior from him or an isolated incident. Have things like this happened before or repeatedly? Or is this one mistake in an otherwise overall good and healthy relationship? (And no a few good moments do not redeem a relationship that more often than not involves him ignoring you or disregarding your feelings.) If you feel it is one-off thing then it might be worth trying to repair and work through the conflict. This doesn't mean you have to stop feeling hurt, but don't let the hurt prevent you from talking to him, receiving an apology and discussing what should be done differently moving forward. Whenever you feel ready to do that.

Personally it would be an issue for me if my bfs friends didn’t like me before meeting me. Do you know why they didn’t? And if he changes around them that would be worrisome as well, and wanting to see his friends on your anniversary is also something that seems quite odd. However, if he’s realizing his behaviour that could be a first step, if you wanted to continue being with them.