What would you do if one of your closest/longest known friends stopped putting effort into the friendship? Currently happening to me right now and it’s not sitting well with me ):

If you tried reaching out and the friend didn’t want to make the effort then I would end the friendship. Even though you’ve known the person for a long time people change and grow apart. It takes two people to make a friendship work. Maybe try and make new friends or become closer to your other friends who still put in the effort into the friendship. There is also a pandemic going on so many she’s currently going through something. Unless she started not putting any effort into the friendship before the pandemic happened.

@Pandafan1 yes it did start before the pandemic which is why I’m a bit upset. She’s been one of my best friends for 10+ years now and I tried to make plans with her multiples times and tried to take her out for her bday in Jan but nothing ever came out of it. She got into a relationship late 2019 and got very busy with school as well as went on new antidepressants and we already don’t live super close (about 40 mins away) so I didn’t try and put pressure on hanging out and tried to just check in with her over text but she would kind of stop responding after one text. I’m really trying to give her the benefit of the doubt and be understanding but my last few texts gave been straight up ignored even though I see her tagging other friends in things online ): I feel like the least she could do is say she’s not up for talking or busy or just let me know where we stand y’know?

Is this something that's been happening for a while? Or just since the pandemic, people are struggling right now Try reaching out to them, something could be up that you aren't aware of? The people you are friends with will grow and change throughout your life, peoples lives take different turns and we lose touch with people or decide that they aren't people you want to be friends with and that ok. But if you haven't already, reach out because any relationship (friend or romantic requires two people to put the effort in)

@martini_2 my comment probably posted before you could see but yes it started before the pandemic and I feel like I’ve sent quite a few check-in/reaching out texts (before and during the pandemic) that haven’t really been responded to ):

As hard as it may be, a friendship that’s been 10+ years is the same as a relationship that’s been 10+ years. It can be scary to leave and you feel as though all that time has been a waste, but just like in a relationship, you deserve respect and honesty in a friendship. If the friendship is breaking apart, she should at least give the decency after all this time to let you know where you guys stand. If someone wants to leave you on read and doesn’t appreciate the friendship you give them then I’d stop giving them my attention unfortunately I know that’s hard but that’s not being very friend quality.

You should probably have a conversation about this with her

I would speak to her ask her if anything’s up, then if she ignores it or doesn’t start making more of an effort (if she doesn’t have shot going on right now) then end the friendship x

Definitely talk to her about how you're feeling before just ending the friendship. Give her an opportunity to explain or change her behavior.