Anyone who’s gone through a breakup, please give me some advice. My ex and I broke up in September after 3 years together (he dumped me) and I’ve been trying my best to heal and become the best version of me, but I can’t help but wonder what he’s doing or who he’s with or who he’s speaking too or if he’s with another girl. And I know it’s stupid because even if he is with someone else, I can’t do anything about it or change it. Also, I keep replaying everything he said to me in my head “it’s always us” “I’ve never fallen for anyone like I have for you” “you and I forever” etc etc and I keep saying to myself “why did he lie to you” “why did he promise you forever and then leave” why why why. All these questions will not get answered and I’m driving myself crazy. It’s delaying my healing process so I would really love some advice to people who have gone through breakups. 🤍 thank you

I think what you need to do is find closure and acceptance within yourself. Because you’re not going to get it from him. Accept that you’re not going to find out the answers to the questions you have, and make peace with that. Realise that you do not actually need to find those answers to accept the relationship is over and to move on. I honestly don’t even know how I did it and it is hard especially when you’ve been with someone for so long (I was with my ex for 4 years) and it didn’t end well (he also dumped me unexpectedly and without a proper explanation). It’s important to remember that it’s very possible that he truly meant those things he said to you at that time, even if things changed. It doesn’t necessarily mean he lied to you or anything. I think it’s pretty normal to wonder what your ex is up to lol, especially as he was a big part of your life for such a long time. I think time and moving on with your own life helps you move from that.

@bluerose9 this is actually very helpful thank you. It’s hard because when I achieve something (big or little) in my life, I just want to run and tell him about it but I know I can’t do that anymore. How did you manage to truly accept it and move on? I feel like I have accepted it’s over but my heart is fighting for it and holding on to it in a way. How were you able to accept it? How did you stop these intrusive thoughts (if you had them)? I just truly feel as cliche as it may sound that he was my soulmate and I don’t think I will ever love someone as much as I loved him. It’s so so hard. Still. I’ve come so far, I was getting over it but then he unblocked me on Christmas Day and starting liking my things again on social media and now im back to square 1.

@princessdiam time and try everything that you can. Healing isn’t linear. Stuff that feel like back to square one honestly isn’t. And by time, there’s no minimum or maximum “time”. Once you’re ready, you get to decide and say “enough”. Also the hurt feelings could come up in future relationships. That’s why healing is a lifelong journey that isn’t linear. I don’t know what worked I just literally tried everything from new hobbies to working and getting a rebound and journaling and therapy or just plain old talking to loved ones and talking to myself…looking for more avenues for laughter (now I’m so into standup comedy) … also “Abraham Hicks” on YouTube…you can type “Abraham Hicks get over ex” on YouTube and listen till you find something that sticks out or moves you xx