Hey all, this is kinda a long one I was wondering if this had ever happened to anyone before, one day I sorta snapped out of lust. My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship and the only sex we can do is with FaceTime. The day it happened we were have sex virtually and something snapped in my mind where I didn’t really enjoy him finishing as much as I normally did. There was a physical change in my body and I think he could see on my face even when he was finishing that I didn’t enjoy it as much as I used to. And in the moment was so weird and took me by surprise. The weird feeling was so weird because it’s almost like I ‘came to’ like when you come out of a fog or the way you sober up in a few minutes or so. After that I have not felt as sexually driven to him as I used to be. He used to drive me crazy for him, more then any guy had ever made me before in all honestly and I loved it so much. In the past I have never actually became wet from just the idea of sex with a guy, or kissing them, or dirty talk or sexing or anything before him. I’ve never even been comfortable enough to do a lot of those things with other guys that I’ve done with him and enjoyed doing as well. My ex actually kinda shamed me some times about my sex drive and made me badly about it. He used sex against me through out our relationship and I never felt as comfortable with him as I do with my current boyfriend. Honestly I used to have a lot of pain with my ex even during sex, I would not get as aroused and sex would be very painful. It’s hurting our relationship and I’d do anything to go back to the way it used to be. He sensed it fairly quickly when it happened. I almost went a little crazy and had to ask my self if I was even attracted to him at all at the time because it’s like I almost gaslit myself kinda into thinking if this happened it’s cause I’m not attracted to him. On top of that, I was obsessing so much about what it meant and why it happened for a while that I started to change and almost not talk to him the same way. I still don’t have the high sex drive and excitement I used to and it makes me so sad. Does anyone have any any idea of what happened? Or what it could have been? Why it was from one minute to the next? I’m still working on getting back to where we used to be, but we are long distance so it makes it so much harder. Please help if you can. I really want to go back to the way we used to be, I used to love our chemistry together. I also was not on birth control at all, I know that can change sec drive. There wasn’t anything I was taking, it just happened. Thanks all!

I asked this question on Reddit and 🙄 that was a big mistake so I’m trying to get more support and less gross guys not being helpful 😒

Sex drives fluctuate, it's normal and expected. I think you're overthinking this a lot. You won't always feel the same super intense chemistry and sexual attraction in a relationship. Sometimes our sex drives just dip. It's normal and okay. It also doesn't mean you'll never feel that way again.

@pennylane102 yea you are definitely overthinking the situation. I went two weeks last month where I had no sex drive. Like my body wanted to have sex but my body did not. I kept trying to force myself sometimes I was like wtf am I doing. So I let it be and I am back to my normal now. Its definitely ok to not always feel euphoric in your relationship.

@aurielle oh wow thank you for calming my anxiety about this so much. I’m still so weirded out about how it happened I guess. Out of the blue like a snap, like you said though, I just gotta be ok with the ups and downs and see what it’s like in sometime. I appreciate your help

@gcc1205 I guess that’s true. It was just so weird to me. Also very annoying to lose that sexual drive as well too! That’s an interesting point, I really appreciate you being it up, it is exactly like euphoria left in an instant and it almost pushed me off my balance rethinking the whole thing. Thank you for your help, I really appreciate it so much!

I agree with the others, sex drive does fluctuate, and can fluctuate over little things at times, and is completely normal. Maybe the mood wasn’t right before starting? Was it your idea this particular time or his? Were you in the mood before starting? Was there other ‘important’ or ‘pressing’ things on your mind that day?? ….Maybe you were just missing the ‘intimacy’ part of the cum this time… If you think about laying next to him right now, can you see yourself kissing him? Or Laughing together, smiling? Can you tap back into a moment y’all shared where the intensity existed, can you take yourself back there, mentally, emotionally?

@SugarWitch_ hi!! I’m so sorry I just realized I think I mentally replied in my head when I read your comment 😔! I see, well I do hope it can come back or return to the way it was. Our relationship has struggled a little because that was such a big part for the both of us. To be honest those questions are very interesting and honestly I had not really thought about them until you stated them. I think maybe I did lose the intimacy part. Maybe like almost to the point where it just isn’t the same any more. I don’t know, I want to, sooo badly. I miss that part of our relationship. I can see my self kissing him and enjoying each other but I guess the distance make me so sad that I don’t wanna think about him cause then I’ll just miss him and won’t be able to see him at all. Thank you for all this to think about! I really appreciate it so much ♥️

@PennyLane102 if the relationship doesn't have a strong non-sexual foundation too it's not going to work out long term, because sex drives will definitely fluctuate a lot over the course of a long term relationship. It's not something you can rely on to hold the relationship together.

@aurielle that’s a really great point. I’m seeing that now and I’m honestly not too sure if we have that but I’m definitely gonna give it my all at least first before saying it’s over. I really want it to work out but of course I know if it’s meant to be it’ll be and if it’s not then it won’t be