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Jul 17 18
01:54
Do you think it is okay to ask your bridesmaids to pay for either their dress or their hair/makeup? I have a dress in mind which is under $200 and going to ask the girls if they wouldn’t mind paying for their dress and I pay for their hair and makeup OR vice versa.
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Jul 17 18
01:57
It depends on what kind of friends you have. Are they broke? If so $200 plus makeup may be too much for them.
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Jul 17 18
02:04
Agreed . If their college students or just young in general $200 could be a big burden on them
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Jul 17 18
02:15
Kinda a tough spot, cuz I feel like u pay for your own wedding, it’s not your guests obligation to pay
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Jul 17 18
02:20
Both my bridesmaids have full time jobs that pay well. I am actually poorer than them 😂. I am willing to compromise and pay for one or the other.
 
Jul 17 18
02:25
I don't find it strange if they pay for their own dresses
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Jul 17 18
02:25
I feel like that is something you pay for, like it's your wedding not theirs If someone asked me to pay for a bridesmaid dress, I feel like I was just getting used regardless if I had more money or not
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Jul 17 18
02:26
I think as long as you make it known to them without enough notice, it should be ok. At my friends wedding they had a friend of theirs do the bridesmaids hair and then they told everyone to pay $40 afterwards. I mean $40 isn't that much, but it was totally unexpected. So I think if you at least give them a heads up that this is what you want and this is the price, it should be fine. Oh and we paid for our own dresses,
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Jul 17 18
02:38
Oh I would definitely tell them way in advance! When I have been a bridesmaid, I’ve had to pay for everything.
 
Jul 17 18
02:39
I think it’s perfectly fine to ask them to pay, but if they’re paying they should get to choose the dress or wear whatever dress they like, perhaps just asking them to stick to the color theme.
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Jul 17 18
02:41
@Sassysally @aurielle thanks girls! I feel it is more common these days for bridesmaid to pay for some things. I wouldn’t make them pay for everything because I know for me, it got very expensive with flights and accommodation on top of it all. I will offer to pay for either hair/make up or their dresses 😊
 
Jul 17 18
03:14
I paid for my everything in my friend’s wedding....I thought that’s how it was done.
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Jul 17 18
03:21
I think paying for their own dresses us fine if you can find a reasonably priced one but I dont think they should pay for their makeup to be done, do they have the option to not get it done at all? I personally would hate getting my makeup done by someone else, its just a thing ive always hated lol
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Jul 17 18
03:52
I think the norm is for them to pay for their own dress/makeup etc.
 
Jul 17 18
04:00
I’ve always known people to pay for their own dress,shoes and if they wanted makeup and hair
 
Jul 17 18
04:28
I think it’s normal where I’m from for the bride and groom to pay for the dress and hair and make up but I think it’s personal preference of what you want. I don’t think I could ever ask my friends or sisters to wear something I have chosen, get their hair and make up done a certain way and then ask them to pay for it
5
Jul 17 18
04:34
I paid for my own bridesmaid dress.
 
Jul 17 18
04:40
All of my bridesmaids paid for their own dresses. At least in my experience, bridesmaids pay for their own dresses. Of course, I made sure I picked a dress they liked and at a price point they were comfortable with. They also paid for hair and makeup, but I didn’t require them to get either done. They picked what they wanted/what they could pay for. I think it’s a nice gesture to pay for hair or makeup if you have the money, but I would never expect a bride whose wedding I was in to do that.
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Jul 17 18
04:56
Usually where I’m from the bride and groom pay for hair/makeup, and the bridesmaids buy their own dresses
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Jul 17 18
06:00
I paid for my bridesmaid dress (was under $50) and my hair and makeup and a tan
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Jul 17 18
06:01
I know lots of people who had weddings and the bridesmaids pay for the dress, but they get to choose the dress as long as it’s in the same colour . Feel like hair and makeup would be paid for by the bride and groom
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Jul 17 18
07:07
I paid for my bridesmaids dress and did my own hair/makeup.
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Jul 17 18
07:52
If someone asked me to be their bridesmaid, then expected me to pay $200 I’d be a bit annoyed I can’t lie. But it sounds like my financial situation is very different to theirs
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Jul 17 18
08:43
It’s your wedding you pay. You want them as a bridesmaid. You can’t ask them to be your bridesmaid then make them pay for their own stuff x
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Jul 17 18
10:04
Sorry girls I said $200 as an example just to say that the dresses are under that. The price of the dresses are $130.
 
Jul 17 18
10:20
I think if you’re paying for your own dress, you should get a say in how it looks and how much it costs, because even if I can afford it, I still wouldn’t really want to shell out more than $100 on a dress I may only wear once. So if you want this particular dress I’d say pay for it, and if they want hair/makeup professionally done they can pay for it themselves.
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Jul 17 18
10:46
I’ve always been expected to pay for everything when I was a bridesmaid. Everyone also paid for their stuff in my wedding, however, I did give them the option of getting their hair/makeup done. If they didn’t want to, that was fine. That’s just something you sign up for when being a bridesmaid.. at least that’s how it is around here
 
Jul 17 18
12:45
Forgot to mention she didn’t require us to get our hair and makeup done.
 
Jul 17 18
12:52
When I was a bridesmaid we all bought our own dress and the bride paid for hair and make up. We got a say in the dresses as well. I had no issues with that arrangement so I wouldn't see a problem with doing the same myself one day.
 
Jul 17 18
13:28
Yeah considering how expensive weddings can be for the guest (wedding gift, transportation etc) and my overall financial situation I would not be happy paying $130 for a dress I didn’t choose. I’ve never paid more than $40 for a dress in my life (including dresses that I’ve worn to weddings) so that just doesn’t really suit my budget and lifestyle.
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Jul 17 18
13:44
I would have assumed that the couple pays for bridesmaids dresses (for the same reason stated above ^). And I thought that the hair and make up would be included also. Why should someone else be out of pocket for your big day? But I’ve never gotten married or been a bridesmaid so I don’t know for sure
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Jul 17 18
14:02
I mean I thought when people agree to be a bridesmaid they assume they're going to pay for a dress?? When I was in the wedding as a flower girl, my mom paid for my dress. And when my mom was in a wedding she paid for the dress. Just thought that was how it was done.
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Jul 17 18
14:06
@Sams2095 I think that’s fine as long as they get to choose a dress that suits them and their budget.
 
Jul 17 18
18:35
My friend is getting married in October and I’m a bridesmaid and we’re paying for our own dress and makeup and shoes and stuff. She made it clear when we asked they were broke and cutting costs in every way possible and would be saving hard to get everything else (venue ect) paid for. She brought cheap dresses though and everyone at the wedding will be paying for their meal except the bridal party.
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Jul 17 18
18:43
In saying that we also didn’t get to choose our dresses. The way I see it is we were told that it would cost money and if we didn’t want to she completely understood but there fresh out of college and broke so trying to save money. She’s my best friend since I was 6 and I was given 9 months notice to say a few hundred dollars so there’s no excuse for me not to be there. It’s her wedding of course she would pick the dress and tbh I hate it. I prefer neutral colours but she wanted bright yellow and knowing my friend I know yellow is her favourite colour and it makes her happy so I’ll go along with it. It’s her big day after all
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Jul 17 18
20:44
The weddings I’ve been in the bridesmaids paid for everything for themselves. Dress, shoes, hair, and make up. One wedding I was in I had to pay for my flight, hotel, rental car, and other expenses on top of that stuff. I think if they have good jobs and can afford it then they should pay for their dress and hair. If they can’t afford it and you really want them in your wedding then you can offer to pay.
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Jul 17 18
21:45
@Everwild yes I feel that is a good compromise! My friends are very easy going and I am in no way a bridezilla 😂 so I will just ask them upfront if paying that much for a dress will be too much for them. Here in Australia, items are much more expensive than other countries and I have struggled to find nice dresses under the $150 mark that are well made and designed. Knowing my friends they will want their hair and makeup done which I am more than happy to pay for. My mother also wants her hair and makeup done. I’m also giving the girls a year and a half to be prepared and save. I really don’t think there will be any issues as long as everyone is honest and upfront.
 
Jul 17 18
22:21
@kittttttty I think you paying for their hair is a really nice gesture!! I’m sure they will appreciate that! And giving them that far in advance to save is really nice! One wedding I was in the bride got married so fast that I was asked to be a bridesmaid and 2 weeks later had to pay a little over $200 for a dress. If you talk to them I’m sure they won’t mind paying for theirs 😊
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Jul 17 18
23:28
My sister is getting married and I paid for my dress and shoes and will be paying for my own hair and make up, and I’ve done this for each wedding I’ve been a part of (4 now). Usually you get asked to be a bridesmaid in advanced, if you won’t have the funds then you can decline. I love my sister and at the end of the day it’s her wedding. She could’ve picked the ugliest dress ever and I still would’ve worn it without complaints.
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Jul 18 18
00:18
@Everwild @xowanderer thanks girls 😘
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Jul 18 18
00:24
For those stating that we should be paying for everything, I feel your opinion would be different if you were in my position and having to pay for everything. My fiancé and I will be covering the cost of the wedding without any help from family, I feel a lot of people would have help from their family and therefore don’t understand the full cost of everything and the stress. I feel asking my bridesmaids to cover the cost of their dress really isn’t that bad as everything else will be covered. 🤷🏼‍♀️
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Jul 18 18
01:38
I honestly think you’re being overly generous when you agree to go or be in a wedding you’re agreeing to the costs associated with it. Yes it would be unreasonable to pick a $300 dress and force all parties to get an $100 up do and $70 makeover but generally you agree knowing you have to spend money.
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Jul 18 18
01:52
@kittttttty do they get to choose their own dresses and cost points in that case,
 
Jul 18 18
01:55
@kittttttty if not, I understand your dismay, however it is technically your obligation whether it suits your financial status or not considering it is your venue that you’re putting together. If someone invited me to their wedding but I had to pay for a specific dress that wasn’t in my budget, to be fair, I wouldn’t go. I just find it a little tacky to be brutally honest, I don’t mean to be rude at all, but it’s just really not ideal.
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Jul 18 18
02:25
@amalia Yes exactly! For my sisters wedding I paid close to $2,000 in the end as us bridesmaids had to pay for everything, I could never make someone pay that much for a wedding that wasn’t their own as it really was ridiculous. I feel that it is fair for my bridesmaids to just cover the cost of their dresses. @Wildflowers let’s just agree to disagree 😂
 
Jul 18 18
03:07
Whoa what the hell did she make you buy? I spent $120 on the dress for my friend’s wedding and $50 for a blowout
 
Jul 18 18
03:13
@amalia the dress was $250, hair and make up was $200, shoes were $100. Then my fiancé and I had to pay for flights, accommodation, food and a hire car oh and a wedding gift! It added up very quickly! The worst part is that we never even got a thank you or a gift for being in the bridal party.
 
Jul 18 18
04:05
I mean yes they can just decline to be in the bridal party, but I’d feel super sh*tty to miss out on being part of my friend’s special day because I couldn’t afford it.
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Jul 18 18
04:27
And I’d feel super sh*tty expecting my friend to pay for my stuff when she’s already paying for the whole wedding 🤷🏻‍♀️
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Jul 18 18
04:29
@kittttttty I know you said that people would probably think differently if they were in your position because you and your fiancé are paying for everything yourself with no help from family... where I am from it is way more common for the bride and groom to pay for everything themselves (it’s not your families wedding after all) ...but I personally will still pay for my bridesmaids hair and make up now I know I am only going to have two bridesmaids when I get married so maybe that’s why I think that and most people where I am from only have 2/3 bridesmaids because for me if I wanted them to be involved I wouldn’t want them to have to decline the offer just because they couldn’t afford it. But at the end of the day it is entirely up to you and your bridesmaids what you do about it as it’s you and your fiancés day :)
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Jul 18 18
04:44
@Martini_ I am only having two bridesmaids as well, hair and makeup will be paid by me. The only cost for my bridesmaids will be theit dress which I will discuss with them as I have been looking today and have found a nice dress for $100 😊
 
Jul 18 18
04:44
*their
 
Jul 18 18
06:31
My bridesmaids paid for their dresses, I chose a fabric and color and they chose the style. For shoes they wore nude heels/flats so they all had something already. Hair/makeup was on their own too but I had stylists come to the house so they could have hair/makeup done discounted if they chose to. Part of a “thank you” gift for being in the wedding was necklace, earrings and a clutch to use at the wedding. For weddings I’ve been a part of, what we did is pretty standard.
1
Jul 18 18
08:37
@kittttttty I understand you’re under pressure and feeling stressed. But saying that people would think differently if they were in your position and had to pay for everything isn’t exactly true. Where I’m from it’s normal for the bride and groom to pay for THEIR wedding, guests usually give a wedding gift which has the general assumption “pay for your plate” so most people pay the cost of their meal which is a standard €100 Pp. I also saw you’re under pressure because you feel the money would be a huge chunk of money off a house deposit. The majority of people I know save for a house and then a wedding for that reason. A lot of people are saving. So being invited to weddings is actually quite an expense for most people. I’m sorry you’re stressed. And that your day is causing you so much hassle. But you asked people what the expectations were and most people answered what general norms were in their friend circle/culture. It’s up to you what you do with that information. But saying people would think differently isn’t correct. Currently saving for a house myself, getting invited to weddings is lovely but expensive, I can’t imagine the added extra of having to pay for an expensive dress and hair and make up
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Jul 18 18
08:58
@lilaclali my apologies for making assumptions
 
Jul 18 18
10:27
@lilaclali that’s exactly what I was trying to say but you said it’s much more eloquently than I did :)
 
Jul 18 18
14:24
@amalia but she’s the one who decided to get married...
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Jul 18 18
14:52
Okay agree to disagree @aurielle I never expect to be paid for if I’m a bridesmaid and none of my bridesmaids expect it either.
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Jul 18 18
16:00
Yeah I don’t really sympathise with people who “can’t afford expensive weddings” because a wedding is an unnecessary expense! If someone couldn’t afford to eat or for somewhere to live, I’d feel bad but a wedding is a choice and also not on a time constraint...
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Jul 18 18
16:03
$130 is a little expensive for a bridesmaid dress that they didn’t even get to choose their self. They should pay for their own dress, but not for a dress that you set the price for and picked.
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Jul 18 18
18:21
@phil agree!! If plan your wedding around a set budget, ie - I don’t want to waste lots of money so it’ll be a backyard wedding and will be lots of fun still! You chose to make your wedding so expensive, you chose your venue, decor, etc, your wedding party did not.
 
Jul 18 18
18:22
You gotta make the best with whatcha got! I’d be a little upset to have to pay that much for a dress I was only wearing once
1
Jul 19 18
05:33
Well I’m pissed bc ny cousins wedding I had to pay $200 for hair and makeup and it was horrible I do awesome makeup and I paid for the dress which I get but makeup if you’re having them in ur room the day ur getting married I don’t think you should tell the bridesmaids to pay I know they get deals and that it wasn’t a good deal at all $200 a person for makeup and hair they rush to do! I’m still mad about that
1
Jul 19 18
17:40
At least where I’m from in the northeast that’s usually how it’s done, the bridesmaids paying for their own dresses or at least a portion. In my sisters wedding she picked $80 dresses. Everyone had the same dress but they got to pick the style of the top (halter, spaghetti strap, etc) which was great because people got styles they were comfortable with but everyone still matched and looked put together.
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