Don’t feel dirty. But also, don’t sneak out and lie to your mom about where you’re going, she has your best interests at heart, and if for some reason something happened and you fall and get hurt walking over to your bf’s or something it could be a long time until your parents realize you’re gone, it’s better to just be honest. The best thing I can recommend is to find an adult you’re comfortable speaking to (whether that’s your mom, an older sibling, an older cousin, an aunt or uncle, or even a nurse at planned parenthood). And educating yourself about sex, consent, pregnancy prevention, healthy relationships, and STI prevention. Educate yourself on how to properly use your pill and condoms. And make sure you’re getting regularly tested regardless of how much you trust your partner, and use condoms with any new partners and partners who haven’t been tested. If you’re going to be sexually active then you need to take charge of your sexual health in all aspects. And find an adult you can confide in. Planned parenthood is a wonderful place if you need sexual health advice or to ask any sex related questions! And above all else, be safe and make sure any sexual activity is consensual. Don’t ever feel pressured to do anything if you aren’t feeling comfortable with it. Any guy who pressures you is TRASH.
These other posts may also be helpful to you:
What can make the pill less effective?
Why even virgins should get tested:
How to properly use condoms, and why it's important:
Info on female orgasms and sexuality:
Issues with sexual compatibility w/partner:
Resources regarding emotional abuse, domestic violence, sexual assault, and sexual harassment (alphabetical by country):