Hey everyone… I have a question and I’m hoping for some advice. Thank you in advance!! Main topic: family difference Summary: my mom has a boyfriend who I absolutely do not like. He’s always at my house, and I ignore him or stay somewhere else. I act as if he doesn’t exist, so I won’t be disrespectful to my mom. My mom wants to take our annual Fall family photos and wants to include him this year. They’ve only known each other for about 7 months. I DO NOT approve and expressed this to her. She does not care. My plan is to take the family photos that do not include him, then leave as soon as he is included. Is that bad to do? I don’t want to fight with my mom, but I don’t approve of this, and I don’t want to do this. What would you do in this situation? . . . TW: toxic relationship behaviors, violence, mention of domestic abuse . . . Okay, so my mom found a boyfriend sometime in March. In May, they seemed to still be hitting it off, and he was nice. So, my mom asked if he could be in some of my official graduation photos. I said yes so she can be happy. He seemed nice, and I gave him a chance. I spoke to him, got to know him because my mom really liked him and i wanted to keep her happy. Well fast forward to late June/early July. He started showing major red flags. My mom, he, and another couple went on a double date. My mom’s boyfriend got drunk and started behaving inappropriately. When the other guy on the double date made a mistake, my mom’s boyfriend slapped him across the head. My mom broke it off with him because her ex husband (my father) physically abused her and she knew that was the first sign and didn’t want to be put in a situation like that again. Her bf spent time trying to win her back and he eventually did a month later. He promised he wouldn’t ever do it again. Then, his possessive and jealous personality started showing. He would tell my mom that he knows she’s cheating on him (she wasn’t). They broke up AGAIN because “she was cheating on him.” During this time, he destroyed our family keyboard by breaking it into pieces. She said he only did it because when she was mad, she broke something that belonged to her. “He wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t do it,” says my mom. Anyway, they got back together. Throughout their relationship, he had a “talk” with my younger sister about how she’s acting so immature and childish about their relationship. “She needs to accept that he’s around and there’s nothing she can do about it.” (She was 12 yo; he was left in the car alone with her, so no one knew until my sister spoke up about it). My mom told him he’s not allowed to speak to her children so they broke it off again. They got back together… then, he was borrowing my younger brother’s cowboy hate. The bf didn’t like the string around the hat and CUT IT OFF. My brother was so disappointed and heartbroken because it was his favorite hat and bought him by himself (saved up for it). My brother showed hatred toward my mom and her bf so they broke up AGAIN because my mom doesn’t like the way her son was treating her and her bf said it’s too stressful to be with her because of her kids. Anyway, he used money to bribe my older sister and my younger brother. They both like him now that my mom and him are back together (got back two weeks ago). I still don’t like him at all. I act as if he doesn’t exist. My younger sister doesn’t like him either ever since that talk. That was a very unnecessary talk because my mom and him had only been together for a month at the time. Anyway, I still very much don’t like him but he’s around and I can’t change that. Well, now it’s time for our yearly Fall family photos. We’ve been doing them every year since 2015. We’ve NEVER had other people in our photos. Not even my long term boyfriend of 9 years. Now, she wants her bf that she has only known for about 7 months in the photos! She told me this in front of my boyfriend and my boyfriend told

in my opinion - you absolutely do not have any obligation to interact with her bf. he shows major red flags, and does not treat you and your younger siblings with respect or care at all. I’d honestly stay away from him as much as you can, seems like you have been already. for your photos, I don’t think it’s fair he’s to be included in them. at the end of the day it’s your moms choice, but you can make a choice for yourself as well. i’d talk to her about this if you can. although you want her to be happy, I feel you should be able to speak to her about your concerns, especially since he’s around your younger siblings a lot overall his behaviour is really alarming. I can see how upsetting this can be. are you open to discussing how you feel with your mom?

@teamedward yes, we’ve discussed this topic several types. She always dismisses me and walks away. I’ve tried phone calls as well (so that it may not seem so harsh and so confrontational), and she’ll hang up. I’ll even text her too and she’ll tell me she’s not going to read it. I’ve decided to just drop it and act as if he doesn’t exist. Well because of the photos now, I’ll have to bring up my feelings again and it’ll be the same: she’ll ignore and dismiss me. That’s why I’m planning on just walking away from the photo shoot… avoid bickering which she clearly wants