TW: in general.
I don’t know where to start. I feel like I overthink and sensitive all the time. And I realise that after I’ve done or said something. Am I sick?
My brain keeps thinking about past scenarios or scenarios of what ifs too much. I started created scenes in my mind and I became emotional all of a sudden. This has been going on for a year and I feel like getting worse.
I have been out with this one person, today, I woke up happy and everything. I’m a morning person. He was slept. I woke him up so that I can go to work. He stayed asleep, didn’t get up to lock the door, it was gonna be okay he said. And all of a sudden, I became so mad, I started creating these scenarios in my mind as I was dressing up. He asked me to hug him goodbye. I did give him a kiss and a hug but I was mad for no reason. So I got up, without saying anything. I just left.
In the car, I started crying. I didn’t know why but I cried. And I was mad. I was overreacting and overthinking.
I spend so much time alone, and I feel like my brain is always thinking about what I could’ve said and done. It was always about the past and I started become so frustrated with myself and without realising spitting out words of frustration very loudly.
Am I really sick? Am I mentally sick?