It doesn’t feel real. I know he’s my soulmate and I’ve never loved anyone more than him. I’m praying for the day he comes back to me but for now I need to work on myself but it is so hard, I’m hurting so bad. I have an internship I accepted for the summer and I was going to move back to our apartment. My ex told me I can live there and he can move to his parents for the summer while I save for a different place (his parents live only 40 minutes while mine live 4 hours away) and I want to do my internship still I just feel so weird going to “our” apartment

Do what makes you comfortable. And don’t wait for him to come back, it’ll just be more and more painful. If he hurt you this much, he doesn’t deserve you. You’re stronger than this relationship. You need to move on and know that you’re going to come out of this stronger and smarter. I understand how you’re feeling ❤️

Can you look at spare rooms to move into ot sharing a flat with someone else? I recommend spareroom if you’re in the uk or US, you may even make a friend through it too. It’s going to be hard to start but eventually you’ll be happy tgis happened xx

@Lemongrass_ but he didn’t hurt me at all. I have relationship anxiety and it causes him to get overwhelmed and pushed him away. I was having all of this anxiety while he was going through a really stressful time in his life as well.

I would recommend looking for a different place to live. I know you are hurting but your internship sounds so exciting! It'll be a great opportunity to focus on you and moving forward in your life.

@Only_happy_ You just have to focus on yourself, not with the intent of being with him again, just you. It sounds like you have amazing opportunities. Your life is exciting, just have to open your eyes, process what happened, and move on. It’s easier said than done but you’re strong and you can do this !!

@lemongrass_ @awg1 @AUrielle I would look for a different place but my ex has a full time job (even though he is also going to school full time) that pays significantly more than mine does so he said he will still cover rent for me until my internship is done and I saved up money to move out to somewhere else so that’s why I’m staying in our apartment because I can’t afford to look anywhere else

I would not recommend putting yourself in a situation of financial dependence on an ex.

@aurielle can I ask why? I’m not being financially dependent we are just following through our plan we set prior to the break up and he doesn’t want me to miss out on the internship

@Only_happy_ he will be paying your rent so you are dependent on him, I know it may seem harmless but he's an ex now and doesn't technically have any obligations toward you. What if his feelings change or the breakup takes a more negative turn or gets more messy? He can just stop paying and then you'll be homeless...from an outside perspective it seems very very bad to rely on an ex for living expenses when you've just broken up.

I agree with @auRIELLE. You don’t want to become dependent on him. You need space to move on, and living in that apartment with him paying the rent just doesn’t sound like a great idea

Going off of the other comments, maybe look into a place that you can share with roommates so you don’t have to pay as much

I totally agree with above definitely try and get your own place, keep your independence. @aurielle is dead right, same as her I would really urge you to avoid being dependent on your ex for anything, you may be on good terms now but if things change it could get really messy and turn out badly for you. If you were to be financially depending on him that creates a power imbalance. Not a good thing to have especially as the break up is so fresh and also you want to try to work things out further down the line. Also it would be better to have completely separate lives for a while so you can both get over this.

100% agree with @aurielle, having him pay you’re rent is not a good idea! Have you got any money saved or is it a paid internship? You can get rooms/house shares pretty cheap x