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Nov 22
18:23
hey guys! i need advice. ive been in a relationship for 5 years now. weve been dating since were 16. we have no plans of having kids at all right now and i dont know if i ever will want to have them. i do leave the possibility open and think maybe one day ill like to start a family. now heres my issue. every time i mention anything about future kids my bf shuts it down quickly saying “we aint having kids.” today i was putting some clothes away that i barely wear so my bf asked “hey why dont you give it away?” and i told him i didnt want to because id like to give it to our kids if we ever haver them and he shut it down again. i know we’re very young and people change but we had talked about this in the past and he pretty much said the same as me “definitely not right now but maybe when were older and stable”. i dont know if i should talk to him about this. i feel like even though it might be a long time until this situation comes around it still worries me that one day ill want to start a family and he wont. sometimes i feel like if i accidentally got pregnant i would have no support from him. it terrifies me
 
3
Nov 22
18:42
hi! that sounds unhealthy as he’s totally dismissing your feelings towards having kids. even if you don’t want kids- he shouldn’t be like “don’t say that” because it shows that he doesn’t support your choices on what you decide to do with your body. which is extremely unfair. i think you should talk to him about how that makes you feel and how you don’t appreciate him turning down on the choices you’d want to make in the future.
 
Nov 22
18:48
Communication is always the best move in situations like this.
3
Nov 22
23:09
If you find yourself wanting kids in the future, you have to decide wether or not it would be a dealbreaker that you bf doesn’t. Like the others said, communicate this with him but the way he’s being dismissive about what you want and say is not right. Don’t you think it’s worrying that you think he wouldn’t be supportive if you accidentally got pregnant? What does that say about his character and what you know of him?
 

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