My biggest advice for long before sex would be to read your pamphlet and learn how your pill works to protect you. Understand how to use it properly, what is considered a missed pill, what to do if you miss a pill, etc. if you are ever unsure whether you are protected, use condoms. Use condoms until you understand how to use your pill, and you and your partner have both been tested for STIs.
For right before sex, make sure you and your partner are doing plenty of foreplay (20-30 mins) focused on getting YOU ready for sex. Sooooo many girls have painful sex because their partner has 45 mins of foreplay focused on them (blow job, hand job, etc) and then he half heartedly rubs their labia for 2 mins and thinks they’re ready for sex— THAT ISNT HOW IT WORKS. You deserve foreplay focused on your pleasure also. Things like oral, playing with your clit, deep kissing, sexy massages, etc all help get you relaxed so penetration is comfortable. Don’t accept the message girls are so often given that it’s okay if first time sex is painful. It isn’t. Sex should NEVER be painful. If you have had adequate foreplay, are well lubricated (use water based lube with condoms), and are relaxed sex shouldn’t hurt. And if it does that’s a sign you either need more foreplay/lube/to try again when you’re more relaxed/etc or to see your doctor.
Pain during sex when you’ve done adequate foreplay, are properly lubricated, and feel relaxed and ready for penetration can be a symptom of some health issues like endometriosis, yeast infections, bacterial infections, and more. So if you’ve done enough foreplay, are properly lubricated, and are feeling ready for sex and you still have pain, it’s a good idea to visit your doctor or gynecologist.
During sex, communicate with your partner. Tell him what you’re enjoying and what you aren’t. Ask him what he enjoys or wants to try. And make sure consent is enthusiastic and ongoing. If either of you seems uncomfortable, nervous, or not into it, that’s a sign you both need to stop what you’re doing and check in to see how your partner is doing.
Don’t do anything you are uncomfortable with and make sure you are with a partner who respects you and that you feel comfortable communicating with.
As long as you and your partner are both of age (so not an adult and a minor) and are both enthusiastically consenting, it’s okay to keep your sex life private. But if your doctor asks if you are sexually active, do not lie. They don’t personally care whether you are or not, but they sometimes need to know to help them pinpoint any possible health issues (STIs, pregnancy, whether or not you need emergency contraception, etc). If the doctor asks, it’s because they need to know for medical reasons, not to judge you.
🔷 These links also have more info 🔷
Pain during sex:
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Here's a link to a super informative post about sex: {DeCDi6xhJ}
These posts have quite a few replies about first time sex
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Some Points About Consent:
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An explanation of affirmative consent:
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What can make the pill less effective?
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What does a 3 or 12 hour usage window mean?
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Diarrhea and the pill
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Info for new birth control users:
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Difference between typical and perfect use:
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Why even virgins should get tested:
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Issues with sexual compatibility w/partner:
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Resources regarding emotional abuse, domestic violence, sexual assault, and sexual harassment (alphabetical by country):
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