Hi guys, my boyfriend has been talking about moving jobs lately. He’s been talking about moving jobs within the same county but also to Australia. He wants to make more and more money and will go anywhere for that. He knows Id love to go aswell but I can’t for another 2 years due to work. He never asked me what I thought about him going or my opinion on anything, it’s like I didn’t even come into the equation. So I asked him what would happen us if he did go to Australia. He said it would be very difficult and don’t think it would work- which I agree. I’d be paranoid back home and his communication with technology wouldn’t be the best. So now i feel like I’m just in limbo waiting for him to decide if he’s coming or going and if he does decide to go then that’s us finished. I feel like I’m just waiting to break up now and can’t enjoy any of our relationship now in the present thinking that he’s going to leave anyway so what’s the point 😞

Tbh I don’t think you’re compatible then because he seems very career driven and not really focused on maintaining a relationship. Sounds like he wants to better his future. How long have you been together?

I think that he doesn’t take you into account says a lot. He should always put himself and his future first but basic communication is not too much to ask. You can try telling him that you can’t enjoy your relationship anymore because it feels like you’re waiting for a break up, but from what you said so far it sounds like your interests don’t line up at the moment.

I agree with the others that he doesn't seem to be considering you as a major part of his future or prioritize making the relationship work. He can pursue his career goals while also having a relationship but he has to prioritize both. I wouldn't just wait for him to decide, you can take some control of the situation by clearly stating this is what I will do if you make x decision, this is how I'm going to handle things right now, and making your own plans for the future.

How old are you guys? If you’re still fairly young I think this is pretty normal. I didn’t take my high school bf into consideration for example when deciding where to go for college or even my college bf in deciding where to work. I think at that age it’s important to focus on the “now” of relationships and I wouldn’t expect a partner to take me into consideration for their future. However, if the uncertainty is too stressful for you definitely be proactive about making decisions yourself!!

I’m 27 and he’s 29. We’re each others first relationships and together 2 years. I thought he’d at least say ‘we could make it work if I do go and we’d phone each other on set days etc and I’d come home after a year max’ but he didn’t. I did tell him that I feel that I’m just waiting to break up and he said it mightn’t even happen and he might find a better job at home in the next few months. So he’s happy to keep me around when he’s at home but if he goes abroad that’s the end of us basically. He told me not to worry and not to think about it cause it mightn’t even happen 😡 I can’t help now but worry and feel sad just waiting about for him to make up his mind. If he really wanted to be with me he’d make it work or wait 2 years and we could go together. But he wants a better job and more money now because he said he’ll never be able to afford a house otherwise. He seems to be all about the money and not take anything else into account- and I’ve told him this. I told him he values money over everything else and hasn’t even thought about me. And he’s true it mightn’t even happen and he might stay at home but how can I enjoy our relationship now just waiting about???

Whether he goes or not, I agree with the others and that you don’t seem to be compatible. You have very different views on money/career and relationship priorities. I would also not be able to enjoy a relationship knowing my partner is not planning on making us work if it’s too inconvenient. That’s a lot of anxiety. If you want to be with someone where you can build a future together no matter the circumstances, you might want to reconsider the whole relationship. Don’t wait on him to make decisions on your life.

Thanks guys, I agree with everything you’ve said. He often comes up with ideas/ notions that he never follows through with so maybe this is another one. He doesn’t think before he speaks and obviously didn’t think of how I feel. We love life together at the moment and have so much fun but obviously he doesn’t care enough if he’d move away and consider ending things so easily