I was in a situationship and I really liked him. From July to December. I thought he felt the same but ended up messing me about, making me wait for his decision on whether I was relationship-worthy. I’m still hurting. It hurts more than a 2 year relationship which ended. Please, any words of advice or experiences about how long it will take to get over him would be appreciated. I’m just hurting.

Ps. I cut it off completely on NYE when I got a happy birthday message from him- I sent a response about how I’m moving on and that he should’ve treated me better and he said “that’s valid” and didn’t even apologise

I’m so sorry. These situations really suck. Honestly I think what really hurts is that the love and respect you were giving wasn’t reciprocated, and in fact you were treated with disrespect and carelessness, that someone you cared about didn’t care about you. I think the best thing you can do is focus on yourself for the moment, and learn from this. Set your standards higher and do not allow people to treat you in a way you don’t like. Next time, don’t wait. Take the their non decision as a “no”, immediately. If someone wants a relationship with you they will put in the work to make that happen, if that’s not happening then they don’t want it. So move on. And that’s not a reflection on you, they’re just not the right person for you and that’s okay. Don’t worry about how long you’ll feel like this, just focus on right now. Personally I find journaling and writing down how I feel, what I feel I could have done better, what I feel they could have done better, what I think of the situation now I’m out of it, what I’ve learned that I want more of and less of from a romantic partner, what things I now know I need from and what I wouldn’t tolerate from my next partner, etc etc Just put out all your thoughts on paper when they feel overwhelming. Right now, look after yourself. Date yourself. Treat yourself to a coffee date, get your nails done, run yourself a nice bath, whatever. Spend time with your friends and family. You will be okay ❤️

Agree with @bluerose9, it's hard to say exactly how long you will hurt for but the best thing you can do to heal is to show yourself your own worth. Invest in self-love that will eventually allow you to see that the way he treated you is reflection of his own character, unvailabilty, inability to commit etc and not a reflection of your deservingness of love which is unquestionable. Dating yourself and showing yourself kindness and gentleness is definitely the way to go.