Hey, Do you find it scary or upsetting when people throw things or slam doors or shout around you when they're angry? I personally find it extremely scary and upsetting, but I'm worried it's stupid of me. It's not like they'd be hurting me, but I never know what to do and I get so scared that I cry and then it's my fault that I'm crying because they've not done anything at me and they're upset about something that's not even related to me. I don't know what to do.

No I totally get you. I'm a pretty emotional person and I get worried or scared when anyone yells or slams a door. I never used to be like it until I was in a bad relationship. Don't don't beat yourself up over it it's normal for some women.

That is abusive behavior, understandably scary

I find it scary myself

loud sounds especially ones from aggression always upset me, probably cos i grew up w an aggressive father so it’s probably some subconscious trauma

I hateeee being yelled at

I get really cares too. It usually sets of a panic attack. I wouldn’t say it’s abusive behaviour like people get made and slam doors or shout sometimes. Pretty much everyone does it? I get your emotion towards it. I get the same

No you’re not weird or overly sensitive to be anxious about that kind of behavior. Personally I don’t think any of those things are acceptable expressions of anger and we shouldn’t normalize them. People need to learn how to handle their anger in nonviolent ways. I would not want to be around anyone who behaves that way.

@Lunaace1 I don’t slam doors or shout.

It’s not stupid, it’s based on upbringing. If you come from a peacefully managed home then it’s expected to feel scared, whereas it’s normal for those who come from toxic/dysfunctional homes

I have a bad childhood where it was the norm. I have ptsd from my childhood and when I hear loud noises of any kind it sets me off. I’ve learned to try to calm myself and tell myself nothing is happening. Figure out where or what the noise is, talk yourself through it. Weed has helped me a lot with panic but it’s legal where I live and I know it’s not in a lot of places so that might not be helpful :/

I said “ pretty much everyone “ not every single person @aurielle

@Lunaace1 well I don’t agree. I don’t think that most people behave that immaturely.

Slamming a door out of anger or shouting when angry is immature? @aurielle we have different ideas of what is normal then lol. Off doing it towards someone isn’t normal but shouting when you’re angry is very normal because one way of expressing anger is like that

@Lunaace1 it's not normal to shout at someone you care about because you're angry. It is immature behaviour. Adults can express their feelings through talking in a collected manner. Don't try to normalize borderline abusive behaviour.

It's not stupid to get upset about it because it is scary. Slamming doors and yelling is violent behaviour.

Shouting is now abusive? Jesus lord what has this world come too. Literally anyone gets offended over anything these days. You’re trying to say when kids get shouted at because they’re being naughty the parents are abusive. And if my and my bf are arguing and he raises his voice then he’s abusing me ( he doesn’t do this because we talk things through but if he did out of anger then I would understand). People shout and raise their voices when they get angry I’m not normalising abusive behaviour, you’re just over reacting to a normal emotional response @xixv

@Lunaace1 can you come up with a better argument as to why it's not borderline abusive besides "it's normal" and "people get too offended these days?". You're not being very convincing or understanding.

And yes, parents who shout at their children and couples yelling at each other are not normal concepts. Adults and children comprehend and can express anger through decent communication. I'm sorry you feel the world has gone insane in your eyes because people are realizing that such behaviour actually has very negative origins and consequences.

Shouting is a natural way of expressing anger. Ofc abuse such as verbal abuse and shouting abuse like swearing etc is wrong but there’s a line between shouting abusive things and saying that all shouting is abuse. People shout at others all the time I really wouldn’t call it abuse at all.

@Lunaace1 it may be common, so are sexual harassment and cheating, people do it “all the time”; that doesn’t mean it’s healthy or acceptable. I’m honestly sorry you’ve been brought up in a world that normalize these kinds of toxic behaviors, but just because something is common doesn’t mean it’s okay.

@Lunaace1 I would said that shouting is natural go to response that comes with being angry but it’s by no means ideal or right. Like the other girls said as adults we have to be able to recognize our emotions and control them. If me and my boyfriend get into a fight and one of us raises our voices do I expect our relationship to be over because we’re abusive? No. We’re human and make mistakes but personally I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship where I’m constantly being yelled at because my SO can’t control their anger. I grew up being yelled at by my parents and it would honestly just make me cry lol. There’s much better way to express how you feel and communicate with people.

Yeah maybe I’m just used to it and I’ve grown up with that so it seems normal to me. My parents screamed and shouted and they did that to eachother throughout their break up in divorce. Me and my so don’t shout at eachother because we know talking is the best option butsometimes people get angry and shout. I think I’ve been brought up thinking it’s normal when it’s really not! @aurielle thanks for the insight though. It’s interesting to see different points of view and I agree with yours tbh because shouting isn’t needed and people can talk about issues without having to raise their voices. When I have children I will talk to them and if I need to raise my voice I will ensure I don’t shout and express myself properly :)

@Lunaace1 ❤️