Hi guys I finally had it confirmed with my boyfriend of almost 2 years that he cheated before we got together (we had been talking 6 months/ going on dates /posted pictures of eachother) I was clueless he was attempting to flirt w other people I thought it was exclusive He had kissed 3 people at 3 separate events and was still talking to his ex which he claimed he had ended it with months before we had started going on dates He hasn’t done anything since as we have fought and fought over this and deciding on a final decision I feel like it was all a fake start and I’m hurt but I can’t decide if I’m right to throw away a relationship after 2 years ? Does it make sense to

Did you guys have a conversation about exclusivity or did you assume you were exclusive?

I had assumed it as he had been chasing me after I broke up with my ex Posting me on his Instagram (I know it may seem silly to some) was a big thing for him and I thought it had meant he really liked me but now I feel like I was just the only girl that agreed to go out with him and entertain him long enough so I ended up as his girlfriend He is a good boyfriend I just can’t believe he had tried talking to at least 30 people in those 6 months

The Instagram was like a statement and any girls he may have had would then see we were seeing eachother

Tbf you can’t just assume your exclusive, if you didn’t have that conversation then he didn’t cheat on you. The other girls may have just been flings so it doesn’t mean he didn’t properly like you. The ONLY thing that could be an issue is if he was romantically involved with you but wasn’t over his ex, but that may not have been the case. I think you’re way over reacting x

I know it technically wasn’t cheating yes :) but we were seeing eachother almost everyday as if we were dating so it made no sense to me to have been still attempting to start something else with new people ? He has even admitted he shouldn’t have done these things and should have told me about them before asking me to be his gf.

I completely understand where you’re coming from. Though you guys may not have been 100% fully exclusive, the feelings of hurt would still be there. I feel if you’re spending that much time with a guy, he would have enough respect to focus on you and only you. I think if he’s proved he’s trust worthy over the last 2 years, you should push any ideas about breaking things off, a little to the side. If he’s been good and loyal to you when you’re 100% official, that’s what really matters!! I don’t believe you’re over reacting. Just have a solid conversation with him, and voice your concerns on this. And make sure you know you can trust him from here on out

Thank you for the reassuring comment ❤️ I have mentioned to him I never imagined he was still on the lookout for more while we had been building our relationship for so long before even making it official I think you’re right in saying I should trust him now if he’s proved himself over the past 2 years thank u x @fernymae01

Np girl 💜

If you weren’t exclusive and never discussed only being with each other than it wasn’t cheating. I dated my now husband for 8 months before we became official and during that time I hooked up with my ex and he might of hooked up with someone else but it doesn’t matter what we did before we became exclusive. From the moment I finally agreed to become his girlfriend is when it becomes a real relationship where you agree to be faithful and only focus on each other.

Whatever he did while you guys weren’t exclusive is none of your business and he doesn’t have to tell you anything.

I’d say it’s not cheating since you weren’t exclusive and more bad communication. My bf and I took our time for a few months before becoming official wanting a label but we both agreed we had no interest in seeing other people and wouldn’t entertain other people until we potentially decided we were a bad match. Instead eventually we realized we were basically dating anyway and only wanted each other and it was silly and decided to say it was official. If he’d have messed around with others it wouldn’t have been cheating but it would’ve just been dishonest since he told me otherwise. If your bf never said otherwise then you were just in a weird limbo period. If he was otherwise a good bf I would let it go

Because you weren’t exclusive you can’t hold this against him, even if you’re upset. I would focus on how the relationship has been since then, hopefully your communication has improved, and if it’s been healthy and happy I don’t see why you should end things with him

I definitely understand how you feel though, I’m the type of person that if I’m remotely interested in a guy I focus solely on him, and I’d hate to think of him being with other girls. But a lot of people have the attitude that they need to see what else is out there before they commit....it’s not necessarily a bad thing to do, just wouldn’t be for me! So I don’t think he cheated, but can definitely see why you’d be disappointed

You guys didn’t agree to be exclusive, so no he didn’t cheat. I can understand being hurt by it though. You need to decide if this is something you can get past. There’s no point staying in the relationship if you’re going to hold this against him and be resentful.

@hunnybunx he may not have even been on the lookout for more, may have just been enjoying casual things only. He shouldn’t feel bad as you were exclusive, this is either something you need to get over or just break up with him if you can’t trust him x